Yesterday, Mr. Big, my hardy, bright-eyed goldfish of seven-and-a-half months stopped swimming. My roommate Ryan delivered a short eulogy: "He lived a long and fruitful life. You know, goldfish only cost like twenty cents." Will Mr. Big be missed? Absofuckinglutely. "He was a fighter," Lan remembered. But as they say -- when it's through, it's through. Time to look for a memorial plant to put in his bowl.
